fic | ugly all the way

[feathershedding]

Title: ugly all the way
Summary: “It was Hayami-san,” says Ayako. “She spilled her wine all over me.”

Rie-chan didn’t do it purpose, of course not. It was a party; she was too drunk, too unused to alcohol and uncharacteristically clumsy, all at once – and the drink too close to the edge of the table. Doesn’t change the facts, though, and when Ayako visits her mother (and that man), she can’t wear the Valentino because the cleaners just don’t work that fast. There’s one, immediate reaction (“I see you didn’t like the dress”) and then, the silence. The waiting period with the high-class cutlery, the well-decked table, the sound of silver scratching the surface of expensive porcelain. When she meets her mother’s eyes, there’s no apparent disapproval. No disappointment. Most people would have been relieved, probably, she guesses. Then, her mother says something else (“I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy”) and the thought of being relieved is like an ocean of sand; very improbable, very self-contradictory, so far away that Ayako can’t possibly fool herself.

“It was Hayami-san,” says Ayako. “She spilled her wine all over me.”

And that’s always a mistake. But she makes so many of them, so regularly, that she’s forgotten how to watch herself. Excuses aren’t worth anything, not like this, (“You keep choosing those people, this way of life. And this always happens”), not with her mother’s gaze growing distant with disinterest. There’s no catching her now and the meal continues in silence while Junko Ito retreats to her own world, to the things she understands, with that man still refusing to help. To contribute.

So naturally, though Rie-chan couldn’t help it, didn’t do it on purpose – naturally, things have consequences. Who cares that she can’t wear her new, custom-made dress for her upcoming performance; who even cares that someone painted fat, black lines of mascara all over its front? Come on, it's a minor role in a thoroughly minor show. Get over it.

(“Wear one of the spares,” she tells Rie-chan while the girl sobs behind her. “If I can make do, why can’t you?”).

She leaves the ruined dress on the floor.

~