fic | if only

[feathershedding]

Title: if only
Summary: Miu-chan has no problems with the choreography. No obvious problems with the narrative, either. But Ayako has seen it.

Ueno-sensei is never unjust. Fair, yes, and unlikely to reach for compromises but never in a way that seems rude or unforgiving. Ayako has left many dance studios in her time, for various reasons. But BELLS feels a lot like home and Ueno-sensei is a safe base, even when she can’t trust him to recognise her worth. Looking at the cast list still makes her nauseous; makes her feet tingle, her body restless, her legs hurting to get moving. To practice, to dance, to improve. To rectify.

Be that as it may, their resident swan princess is slowing them all down. Ayako watches as Kotori Miu attempts to be a convincing lesbian for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. Despite Miyaki-san’s impressive attempts to lead her in the right direction, little Miss Perfect keeps floundering her way through the moves and everyone’s already been sweating for hours. Ayako is perceptive enough – recognises the mask when she sees it, that crucial tool for pretending that something inside of you doesn’t exist. Miu-chan has no problems with the choreography. No obvious problems with the narrative, either. But Ayako has seen it. The way she’s gone on and on about kissing Miyaki-san on stage (and really, unless you’re bragging, going on about it doesn’t make any sense!); how her dance lacks something, something crucial that leaves Ueno-sensei sounding hoarser by the minute.

Ayako stretches out her legs. Her ankles aren’t swollen yet; won’t be until later, when she’s turned the lights off and locked out both day and night. And at that point, who really cares? If only Miu-chan would stop fooling around, they’d all be happier for it. If she’d stop pretending to be something she’s not, wearing that stupid mask that can’t fool anyone with even half a brain! If she’d stop prancing around with that creepy little smile of hers and her shining eyes and her perfect feet. And once more, that perfect mask. If only she’d stop…

If only…

~